More Precious Than Jewels
“Who can find a capable wife? She is far more precious than jewels.” (Proverbs 31:10)
Beth’s recent email is proof of the wise young woman she is. I wish more young women solved their problems like she does. Here’s what she wrote:
“Claudia, I don’t know what I do that encourages the distance between Mark and me. Our anniversary is next week, and I only see grounds to observe it, not celebrate it. My marriage isn’t bad; it’s just not good right now. My needs and desires almost consume me, and I feel cheated. In the beginning, I had such high hopes. I always dreamed of a knight in shining armor whisking me away – don’t we all?
Mark is preoccupied and busy. He goes to work, comes home, eats, watches television, mumbles a word or two and then goes to bed. I feel like I’m not even there. And I’m no better. Really. I know I need to focus on the worthy things in Mark, but my heart tells me other things are more important to him, and it hurts. Then I remember the list of his good qualities I wrote in my journal just a few weeks ago. He’s a believer, he attends church, he brings his paycheck home, he is intelligent, he’s healthy, he’s faithful to our marriage and last weekend he installed five ceiling fans in the house.
And then I remind myself of what God would have to say about this. As I honor and respect Mark, I know my heart will change in time and I believe Mark’s will too. ‘An excellent wife is the crown of her husband.’ ” That’s my comfort and my strength.
Your husband comes to you with years of training, conditioning, beliefs, hopes and dreams. Sometimes he’s wounded and that wounded boy lives on into adulthood. Treat him respectfully. Look beyond your needs and be gracious and grateful. Look for something for which you can praise him. It may seem little to you, but to him it’ll be big. He needs your approval, your support and your encouragement. He needs you on his team, not on his back. The Lord is pleased with a gentle and giving spirit. God will give you the strength and it’s just ironic. You treat your guy like a king and he’s going to treat you like a queen. Everyone wins.
Further reading: 1 Peter 3: 1-6 and 2 Peter 1:3-11
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